The shit that's out there!!!

August 19,2013

Okay so I was planning on writing about a certain topic.  The vuh jay jay to be exact.  But I wanted to get some bonafied and true facts on my dear subject, besides what I wanted to write from my own knowledge.  So I'm googling and shit and I began to read the headlines of articles that began to show up when I mentioned the word "vagina".  I then decided to share them with you instead, because this shit was really a trip.

Article #1 :    This article was suggesting that the reason a woman was not getting her raise was because her tooty cat was uncleaned.

Article #2:     This article discussed the difference between shiny and hairy coochies vs.  unclean cunts, vaginas, and buttholes.

If I'm not mistaken, isn't a cunt and vagina the same thing?  Anyway moving right along.

Article #3:      This article actually explained what an unclean vagina smells like.  This man talked about how his wife vagina was smelly and leaked a strange fluid, but he still ate it up!!!

Article #4:       Unclean vagina smell vs. natural vagina smell

Article#5:        This one's a trip.  This chic said her vagina has a foul odor but she loves it and she likes to touch herself so she can smell it all day. Is this normal? What the hell?  Hell naw that ain't normal!!!

and last but not least.....

Vagina's have been used as an intriguing but stupid murder weapons!!!

This lady in Australia put poison on her coochie and then had her husband go down on her.  Good thing that fool recognized her tooty didn't have it's usual smell and took her to the hospital.  Then in Africa there is this condom called Rape-AXE.  This condom worn by women, has little barbs on it!! Yes teeth!!  So when dude try to take advantage these little barbs dig in to the penis and gives excruciating pain!!!  Yea, so homeboys if you're traveling abroad remember this!!!

August 12, 2013

Yes I have been gone for a WHILE!!  But I'm back!!!  So I have friends.  Some of them are closer than others.  I have skinny friends, friends who have a lot of ass, some who have no ass, and some just like me BBW.  Never have we, my friends and I, ever had to compete for a man's attention.  If a male ever decided to try to put us in that situation he would have to get ghost.  So recently a male tried to do so.  My friend being thin and curvaceous, and me of course with my beautifully plump self!  So this attractive " little" dog who thinks he has a big bite, decides he is gonna play both sides right?  Little did he know that she and I already peeped game and decided to play as we please.  Meanwhile posted up on the under is "dis female", who think she knows ALL  the tricks to the game, when really she just TIRED and need to give up the GHOST.  She decides to persaude "little" doggie to go with my friend.  One of the reasons was because I'm BEAUTIFULLY PLUMPED!!!!  So ol boy must like some meat on his bones, because it didn't work.  So "dis female" decided to play my friend against me......didn't work.  Hence, tonight's blog.

Those who don't know me, I'm 4'11' and 224lbs..  I have a tummy, I have ass, I have big thighs and arms!! Regardless of my size and proportion, I am very comfortable in my skin.  I dress to the tee and can rock with and for any occasion.  So yeah "dis female" that's why you trippin' over something that doesn't concern you!!!  I go out and get dirty playing sports with my kids.  I do the damn thing, okay?  My status is such, because it's how I like it.

Having said that, please get the notion that us BBW's will accept "any" thing that is offered to us.  We are very aware that there are intelligent, successful, skinny,average, athletic, and big guys that adore and PREFER us big gals.  So you're athletically built, handsome, and married.  Because you attempt to give us the time of day we're supposed to feel special?  We should be honored that someone as such gives us the time we should feel special?  Ha!!  Your notions are ill-given, egotistical, and ignorant.  We are not "willie foo foo"!!

For those of you out there who think that a slim chic's body can overkill a BBW
, baby think twice!  No for real think a third time now!  No dissin' the slim chic's but there are PERKS one can get from us BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMEN!!!  Not all men are looking for trophies or an ass that is stuck up in the air constantly.  There are men who are out there who want to play with a woman they know won't and can't break!  That's no fun for them!  They want some cushion for the pushin' sweetie!  He wants more than a handfull....I know you quiet because you receiving this teaching!  Yes we have our flaws too, but we're also sweet,compassionate, intelligent, sassy,inventive, trustworthy, lovable, and KISSABLE!!!  

Homeboys, if you find yourself dreaming of that Beautiful Bodacious woman around the way, STOP denying yourself!! Go for it!  Best decision you'll make in a lifetime.  Us big chicks love and play just as hard as the rest of them.

Homegirl, before you go try to dissuade a guy from being interested in a BBW, because your homegirl is a petite chick or you're a petite chick, remember this.....he don't want that chick, he wants a BBW baby! Deal with it!  Accept it! Be careful......

Laugh!!!

I'm out...POW POW POW........

What Are YOU Waiting On?

August 1, 2013

Dreams....aspirations towards the future
       -to contemplate the possibilities of doing something or that something might be the          case....
     - the stuff that you think about
     - a series of thoughts ,images, and sensations occurring in a person's mind during sleep

We all have them.  At some point in life we do.  As a kid we've dreamt of who we were going to marry, what house we were going to live in, and what our careers would be.  For some people these dreams became a reality which is awesome!  For others reality sinks in, and those aspirations become lost, blown in the wind, and sadly maybe even stolen.  

I remember dreaming about being being a doctor!  I had the hospital picked out, the kind of car I would drive(Beamed Baby 7.5!), how many children I was going to have, and the age I would retire at!  I never became a doctor, but I sure as hell feel like one with every skinned knee, bump, bruise, or fever my children get!  So yeah I'm a doctor for life now!! 

I remember my sister after me dreamt of being Whitney Houston!  Now she was barely five but baby Whitney was her aspiration! LAWD. But it was cute..laughing.  I remember around age 9, my mom and dad bought me my first boombox.  I would bring that thing everywhere, especially to my Momo's house.  All my cousins would be there everyday.  Our dream was to be like the singing group The JETS!  And everyday we would be out in the middle of the country on my grandparents property singing every song by the Jets.  We would coordinate dance moves and all.  Neither one of us can sing, but we had fun, we bonded, and we inspired one another.

Me and my sister after me would play "Girl".  Hehehe. I don't know why we called it that, but we would dress up, comb our own hair, and put on our mom's heels!  We would take our children(baby dolls) and bring them to day care, and we would go to work(at the office)!  She would be typing away on her computer(a stack  of books) and I would be doing the filing!  I would be writing stories and poetry instead!  That was our thing though and I loved it. 

Dreams never leave you.  Once they're thought of they're embedded in your being.  To pull them out and take the necessary steps to achieve and fulfilling them is solely up to you.  You don't like the way life is going, go to that place you've stowed away those dreams and pull them out!  Let them be the motivation you need to make that change in life you so desire.

I've always wanted to write.  I enjoy this imagination of mine!  Writing is therapeutic for me.  I can say I've always done it well.  When I got married and started having children, I placed it on the back burner.  For almost 10yrs!!!  My inner self was so disappointed with me, and one day she said ENOUGH!  GET YOUR ASS BACK IN THE GAME!  So here I am.  One step at a time.  

So what dream are you sitting on?  Who's taken it away, and what do YOU intend to do about it?  What excuses are you using?  Get rid of them!  Do you want it bad enough?  I hope you do!  Find your mono, look up your resources, dust off those cobwebs, and most of all look Fear and Defeat in the eye and tell it to kiss it where the sun don't shine!!!!  To give up is just not a choice for me anymore.....WHAT ABOUT YOU?

If you don't build YOUR dream
       Someone will hire you to build THEIRS.
                                         - Tony Haskins


Share your dreams with me!  Leave a comment....

Challuuuuunge!!!

July 28,2013

Now I have not told too much of myself.  I don't have a problem being a mystery,  especially to the right one *wink wink!  I'm sure the excitement of that SPECIAL one delving in to the clues and finding facts of my person would be pretty exciting....if he does it right!  But I'm a single mommy.  I'm not dating anyone.  Not really sure I want to be doing all that dating stuff.  I just simply don't have the time for it.  I want that special guy, lover, friend, and confident to just fall right into my lap.  Yes ma'am...wishful thinking I know.  But a girl can dream right?   I guess what I'm saying is that there is just too much game playing out there.  Not enough men who want and are serious about what they want.  Having said that I must also say it has been quite a long time since the kitty was able to puurrrr and rub herself up against something.  Yeah I'm quite the vocalist.  I do not have constipation of the mouth!!!

I think that one of the main things of being in a healthy relationship, marriage, or partnership,is that  there has got to be some intimacy and a LOT of it!!!  Intimacy can be a variety of things. It could be simple pillow talk, the two of you naked, lying in bed, caressing one another.  It could be snuggling up on the swing on the porch watching the sun set.  It could be jumping in the shower and giving him/her a bath and washing their hair. The point is you and your special one should explore each other.  For instance, you may notice your loved one may be a little stressed out, uptight, or even restless. A good fuck session may be what they need to release some of that pressure or uptight feeling.  Trust me they would have a hell of restful night too!  Talk to each other when making love.  All of those things you find beautiful or handsome about each other that you fail to comment on day by day, express them!  

Release the bobcat in her!  Let the lion in him ROAR!!!  That kinky shit that he/she asks for that you're afraid to do....take that risk!!!  You may find that it brings your inner souls closer together.  Hell that chick at the office that's trying to get him to go out to happy hour so she can get drunk and persuade him to take her home, won't have a chance baby, cuz he'll be running home so he can tame that lioness like he did this morning!!!  Or 'ol boy that's been thinking he been getting your panties wet because he brushes up against you won't have a chance, because little did he know BIG PAPA  laid the PIPE  reeaall good on ya last night!  

Like Bernie Mac used to say "I'm just saying what some of ya'll thinking but scared to say" !!!  Or maybe my ass is just horny!!!  These are the times when you can really appreciate having someone who loves and cares about you laying next to you.  

So my challenge to you is tonight, "turn off the lights, get closerrrr".  Or like Kings of Leon, let him/ her know their "sex is on fire".  Take out the sexy lingerie, and if you don't have any get buck naked and put on the cutest bad ass heels you have and make that man/woman howl at the moon!!!  Whether you gonna fuck the daylights out of them or be smooth and sensual, do it with PASSION!!!  Be creative but BE SAFE!!


So how many of you will be taking the challenge this week?


Random thought:  Some people see the glass half full, some see it half empty!  

Sour Spitefulness

July 26,2013

I'm a single mom.  My kids are still fairly young.  During the first year of my eldest I worked in Retail Management, started a small business, and proceeded to run that business.  But my child was "never" lacking attention.  He knew mommy was there, and like any other mother, I showered him with love and affection. However, I can't say the same for his father. 

When my youngest was born I was able to take some time off after birth.  Also at one time I was out of work for about three months and he was about three years old.  It was just him and me.  Again he knew mommy was there was also showered with love. 

I divorced about three years ago, and in that time for the most part it's been just me and my boys. They have gotten very protective of mom, my BOLD LITTLE WARRIORS!  I've never down-talked, disrespected, or ridiculed their dad in front of them. I try my hardest to prevent any negative conversations. But their dad has not done so at all. Often he has caused confusion or attempted to do so.  Our kids are extremely intelligent.  That plus the barrier of a mother's love!  Someone should have told him- it won't work!!!

One thing I respect my mom for is not bad mouthing my dad to us when he left us!  She allowed us the freedom to draw our own conclusions of him. When we couldn't understand she would try her best to explain. Our persuasion of our feelings for him and toward him were influenced by HIS actions. 

My point is, for anyone,man or woman, who may or may not be together, but have children together, remember your actions to and in front of your children are very crucial!  You may think you are turning your kids against the other parent, but they can think for themselves just fine, and will eventually know when to pull the wool away from their eyes. Mine have and they're beginning to resent their father. For those of you with cruel intentions, that future with your kids could possibly be destroyed!!!

What's more important, your CHILDREN, or the chance to destroy the other parent?



Random thought:  Satin or Silk sheets?

Go sit you grown ass down!

January 22,2013

So I am now a year older than I was two days ago.  But that doesn't stop things from simply amazing the hell out of me!  I am 38yrs old.  I was married for almost 13yrs.  Was together for 17!  But I only have TWO children, and  I really do expect grown people to behave as such.  One reason why I'm divorced.  I don't like to vent much, but I've decided today to take my own advice on constipation of the mouth!

I've been working in the public for over twenty years.  I have dealt with many types of personalities and attitudes.  I believe most people find that I am someone easy to get along with.  I find myself very respectful and considerate of others.  I'm willing to help, teach, and listen when someone needs me.  But I can't stand it when a person takes my kindness for weakness, and it pisses me OFF when a grown ass person stoops soo low out of jealousy and intimidation!

Is it my fault that you're almost 50 and you've been doing something for 20yrs, but I still knock you out the box!!  It's not my fault people are drawn to me and can carry a pleasant conversation and laugh and joke with me...and not you. It's not my fault every time someone speaks under their breathe or speaks directly to me and you can't hear that you think you're being talked about.  When you were fresh on the scene I helped you with the shit you didn't understand or didn't know how to do!  I explained to you the in's and out's, and you have the audacity to act like I'm disrespectful and act like the success I have isn't worth shit!  Ok ok.  

Here's to you!  I am well liked, that's never going to change.  I got that  purr in my voice that will always welcome someone to handle their business.  I'm not scared of you or the high horse you feel you're riding on.  In my eyes you will always be a non m'effin factor to me!!!!  Act like somebody scared of you?!  Please...you need to go sit your "grown" ass down!!!



Random thought:  Catch more bees with HONEY......

THE BIG "C" WORD

July 20,2013

Constipation is mostly defined as having a bowel movement less than 3 times per week.  You usually have difficulty passing stools.  This could be very painful, especially from straining or pushing for more than 10 min.

Causes:

     - not drinking enough water

     - not going when you feel the need 

    - lack of physical activity

Relief can be obtained by drinking more water, increase intake of fiber and vegetables, and/or the use of a stool softener.

You can also be constipated of the mouth. This usually happens when your mouth stays closed when really you should be talking or discussing something.  Your face turns red, your eyes get watery, or you find yourself walking away. The possibilities of this can occur in many different ways.  One way is feeling the need to give someone a piece of your mind and not doing it.  Trying to get a word in edgewise and not being able to do so.  Deciding to just not deal with it and walk away to later come back and repeat the process all over again.

Of course I am no doctor by any means.  Most of this I've obtained by observation and experience.  Sometimes constipation of the mouth can cause stress, the bursting of veins(especially in the face and throat), the breaking of furniture, glass, faces etc.  It can also cause some people the ability to walk over you or take you for granted. 

Relief can be found by a simple WOOSAAHHH!  Clucking like a chicken to release steam can help.  Giving the opposing force a good tongue thrashing.  Sometimes people just need to have it real good to understand where you are coming from or where they need to get off.  What's that "stay in your lane chick"!  Yeah ya'll know what I'm talking about.  Even if you don't want to result in your knuckles connecting to someone's face, scratching someone's eye out, or kicking someone in the royals- opening your mouth to say at least one word can be relief.  And last but not least, going home and letting your spouse, mate, or partner screw your brains out! 

The worst thing you can do is keep your mouth shut.  Go to the bathroom, closet, or outside and scream to the top of your lungs.  Have a conversation with yourself in the mirror and vent, let it go.   You may find that you'll feel better.

Right now, my kids have been running from one room to the other drastically irritating the hell out of me!! Sooo, I'm going to go in there, open my mouth(while holding a leather belt), and with a raised voice tell them YOU GUYS ARE GONNA GET IT, IF YOU DON'T TURN DOWN THE VOLUME AND STOP RUNNING IN MY HOUSE!!

Random thought:  Drink milk, it does the body good.....

&*@#! Pet Peeves

January 18, 2013

Yes we all have them!  I have many!  One of my biggest pet peeves is BLACK SOCKS!!!  I look at feet with black socks and automatically the feet seem funky to me!  Even black stockings!  When and if I wear black socks as soon as I take my shoes off I have to take them off too.  Yea yea yea I know....I'm crazy! Just make sure you don't wear them around me... pretty please!

Here's another one-  you see the construction sign says "move the hell over this lane will merge into one", yet you proceed to ride that mother-lovin lane to the very end and think you're gonna just hop in front of me? Baby please!  Yea I may be talking to you, don't get your feelings hurt!  

Elevators...... If you have GAS...TAKE THE FREAKIN STAIRS!!!  I usually offer a "have a good day" to whomever is still on the elevator when I get off on my floor.  That's just what I do.  Today I was on the elevator with a chick and she let one loose and she was RAW! She did NOT get a "have a good day" from me!!

I decided to have a nice cold Dr.Pepper and you know how that last little bit is always the best swallow, and here comes little Kayden..."oooh can I have some mama?" Or you offer them some of your food and they don't want any UNTIL you're down to the last bite and you get a "you gonna eat that mama?" AAaarrgghhh!!!!

Last, but not least.....the Carpool lane at school!!!  I don't understand the concept of "skipping" in the line!  Really?  If I prepared myself to get here at the time to be the number 20 car in line, you can too!  I don't recall saying "hey jump right on innnn"!  Go your behind back to the end of the line!!  Now this may hurt somebody feelings too, aww you gonna cry?  

All I'm saying is that sometimes we should just keep some of the things we do in mind as they may infringe on someone else, right?

And I shall leave you guys all the room you need to vent about your pet peeves!


Random thought:
A real WOMAN does not seek revenge... she just lets her homegirl KARMA do the dirty work!!!

Hoorah for Humpday!!! blaahhhh!!

July 17,2013

So I was told to write about something that I love to talk about.  Well I looove to talk...period.  I can run my mouth about anything to tell you the truth!  I hadn't thought much about what I was going to write about today so  I'm just gonna go with it!  
 
Right now I'm like really ticked off with my local tv station.  I'm one of the few people who don't have  cable and I'm trying to watch my FAVORITE tv show... CRIMINAL MINDS...yeah baby!  Unfortunately, I'm not getting too good of a reception and it's becoming very annoying!  Any hoo...

So you know how us mommies always talking about getting a break and needing some "me" time?  And you know the saying "be careful what you ask for?".  Well my little rugrats have been gone for almost two weeks and  I MISS THEM!!!  The house is tooo quiet.  I have noone to yell "stop that!" or "can you get out of my room!" to.  I have found myself  getting into trouble on my own in my own house!!  For instance, I have a habit of relieving the itch in my inner ear with q-tips.  Well today the tip end of one of them got stuck inside my ear!!!!  So I'm like dammit!  How am I going to get it out!  Now I gotta go to the ER .  Then the embarassment began to set in.  So I decided I was going to have to get it out myself.  So I started looking for the 5 pair of tweezers I have.  Guess what?  I COULDN'T FIND ONE OF THEM  SUCKERS!!!  I mean I looked everywhere....EVERYWHERE!  Then came the panic.  So I had to calm my self down.  Finally I  found the tweezers that I had looked over ten times and pulled that sucker out.  Moral of this story, "don't buy q-tips at the dollar store AND use the brand Q-TIP!!!

Then I went into the kitchen to fix some pancakes for dinner( I didn't feel like driving to Ms. Mae to get some dinner).  Boy I whipped up two good stacks, slid some cheese between them, and fried off some turkey bacon.  Got me a good glass of ice water, sat down, and went HAM on those pancakes.  Then all of a sudden I was encompassed in smoke.  Yep that skillet was on FIREEE!!!  And the damn smoke detector,which sits right outside the kitchen didn't go off.  So I put on the stove fan walk back into the living room to finish off my pancakes.  As I'm about to place food in my mouth the smoke detector finally goes off.  Son of a #$%#^!  I had to fan that joker a bit too! Now the house smells like burnt turkey bacon.   Moral of this story... don't be so lazy!! I 
should have gone to Ms. Mae's.  

Yeah I'm ready for the boys to come home!   I have waayyy too much time on my hands!  

So I leave you with this random thought.  cow   C.  O.  W....eieiooooo